Raise your hand if you’ve ever been personally victimised by the Bleep Test.
Using your period as an excuse to get out of PE almost never worked.
Instead, you were told to power through the pain.
Carrying your PE kit to all your classes was such a chore, especially if you also had Food Tech that day.
Although you probably styled it out by bringing in your finest carrier bags.
Forgetting your PE kit resulted in you having to wear old, sweaty lost property that had been sitting there for God knows how long.
You knew you were in for a rough ride when your lungs felt like they were about to collapse 5 minutes into the warm up.
And any activity that involved running for long periods of time was probably the bane of your existence.
Nothing was more mortifying than being picked last for a team sport.
Except for not being picked at all and having to form a duo with the teacher.
And then having to demonstrate all the exercises in front of the entire class!
Team sports also meant that you had to wear foul-smelling bibs that definitely hadn’t seen the inside of a washing machine in the past year.
And if you were unlucky enough to have this ball hit you in the face, you probably saw your life flash before your eyes.
Hearing the words ‘Bleep Test’ sent an automatic shiver down your spine.
And circuit training was somehow just as traumatic.
Did you even do PE if you weren’t high-key terrified of getting an earring caught in the trampoline or grossly miscalculating a jump and falling off the trampoline altogether?
And spotting wasn’t much easier because you were constantly petrified that someone was going to land directly on your head.
PE was the perfect opportunity for all the kids who did gymnastics outside of school to show off.
And they automatically became the teachers’ favourites.
Meanwhile some of us simply struggled to touch your toes and if your inflexibility wasn’t already a talking point for the class, it certainly was after the dreaded “Sit and Reach” test.
Even when it was pissing it down with rain, there was no getting out of PE.
So you had to risk catching hypothermia in your T-shirt and shorts while the teacher watched from the sidelines with their coat and umbrella.
There was truly no greater feeling than being told that you were playing games instead of doing strenuous workouts that day.
Even those of us who hated PE could appreciate a cheeky game of Bench Ball.
Rounders was another tolerable game, although getting eliminated and having to sit the rest of the game out was absolutely humiliating.
You probably questioned whether the PE apparatus was just there for decoration because it was hardly ever used.
Trying to battle through the impenetrable fog of body sprays in the changing rooms after class was no easy feat.
And heading to the rest of your lessons without being able to take a shower felt illegal.
Nevertheless, just surviving the class felt like a bloody miracle (even if you were a sweaty mess).