31 Hilariously Blistering Comebacks To People Who Said Dumb Things

Posted on Aug 17, 2021

If only we could all think of comebacks like these.


This comeback that invalidated any complaint about the Cleveland Indians changing their names to the Guardians:

Twitter: @ShawnHils


This daughter’s reply that left her dad in a pile of ashes on the floor:

my daughter was wearing a flannel hoodie so I said “hey, the 90’s called” and she replied “yeah cause they couldn’t text” and godDAMMIT I’m getting really tired of my kids owning me

03:14 AM – 29 Jan 2021

Twitter: @GrantTanaka


This comeback that served facts and a scalding burn to the costar of a sitcom that went off the air in 1993:

Actually, teen pregnancy & abortion peaked in the 90s, just like Kirstie Alley. https://t.co/doLBuMAH3h

03:30 AM – 03 Jul 2021

Twitter: @MamaDoctorJones


This comeback we should all save for future usage:

Was wearing a mask while pumping gas today and a 30’s something guy pulled up behind me, got out and said “Fucking Sheep”.
To which I replied “Is that what you were doing before you got here?”

11:38 PM – 08 Jul 2021

Twitter: @crwequine


This comeback that basically won Scarlett Johansson’s lawsuit against Disney for her:

Disney/Marvel/ Twitter: @DanWilbur


This delightfully sarcastic comeback that’ll make you go, “The power!”:

One of my favorite things about pride month is celebrating the many achievements of the LGBTQ community, like when we collectively stole the rainbow from God https://t.co/qUz1zfFJli

07:31 PM – 06 Jun 2018

Twitter: @ChrisDStedman


This comeback from an old woman with no F’s to give:

male cashier cracked a joke & followed with “you should smile more” & before i could say anything the older african american woman behind me goes “PFFT hunny contrary to popular belief you don’t gotta smile for a fucking clown” & i hope her life has nothing but happiness & peace

11:49 PM – 16 Jul 2018

Twitter: @sp0okygorl

And this person who turned getting called out for liking an old photo into comeback gold:

damn😂 from


Patton Oswalt’s comeback skewering this ridiculous NRA tweet:

Kinda wish so many freedom seeds weren’t flying out of anger pipes into people’s thinky coconuts and organ barrels and making their loved ones leak so much boo-hoo water out of their peep orbs. https://t.co/WAbcXnuihr

09:23 PM – 23 Sep 2020

Twitter: @pattonoswalt


This comeback that’s hilariously honest and on point:

when guys are like “i’m not gonna be able to cum with a condom on” it’s like, ok, cool. sorry to hear that. i’m probably not gonna be able to cum at all, so i guess we’ll get through this together.

06:33 AM – 19 Dec 2019

Twitter: @danadonnelly

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