50 Of The Most Hilariously Awkward Conversations Parents Have Ever Had With Their Kids

“My brother, Mark, has a birthmark. I asked my mom where my birthmatthew was.”

2.

The FaceTiming convo:

My toddler dropped my phone while she was FaceTiming my mom, gasped, picked it back up, and asked, “grandma, are you ok???” It was the cutest-dumbest thing Ive ever seen.

01:14 PM – 22 Jun 2021


Twitter: @not_thenanny

3.

The report card convo:

My son got his report card today and academically he did well but his teacher wrote a note specifying “ he needs to use kind words with friends “ . I asked him about it and he said “ My friends are dumb and they need to know “

01:31 AM – 24 Mar 2018


Twitter: @purestinnosense

4.

The perish convo:

I remember when I was younger I thought perish was a good word. I was praying with my family one night and I prayed that we would all perish. The silence that filled the room is unforgettable 😂🤣😭

07:50 PM – 28 Jul 2020


Twitter: @gloriatunu1

6.

The coffee convo:

2y.o eating his lunch: “Papa’s coffee hot?”

Me: “Yeah baby it’s hot, don’t touch.”

2y.o: “Me blow on it for Papa?”

It was at this point I witnessed with horror, my 2y.o attempt to blow on my freshly made coffee, only to spit a half eaten chicken nugget straight into it..

02:09 PM – 28 Jan 2020


Twitter: @papaneedscoffee

11.

The hog convo:

my 10yo has learned the phrase “cranking the hog” but doesn’t know what it means, so he uses it to mean “what’s up,” like yesterday when I was cooking: “how’s it going dad, crankin the ol hog?” I love this for my family

03:11 PM – 22 Oct 2021


Twitter: @chore_daddy

12.

The teeth convo:

When my son was 4 he saw a commercial that said “brushing alone is not enough to prevent cavities and tooth decay” so he made us start brushing our teeth with him.

It’s been 3 years.
Nobody tell him.

04:29 PM – 17 Aug 2020


Twitter: @luciuxness

14.

The school convo:

my daughter asked why she can’t just quit school and i told her it’s against the law and they’ll put me in jail and my sweet sweet child looked me in the eye and said “i’ll visit you”

03:39 PM – 28 Jan 2021


Twitter: @ceciatl

18.

The growing up convo:

19.

The bat convo:

I bought my son a book about bats and halfway through it he shouted out, “WHAT??? BATS ARE REAL?!?!” All this time he thought they were made up for Halloween like ghosts and witches

01:43 AM – 16 Aug 2018


Twitter: @tragicallyhere

21.

The hide and go seek convo:

24.

The dinner convo:

3: Mommy, I don’t want dinner!!

Me: I’m not making dinner, I’m making you a big snack

3: Yay! Snacks!

𝗙𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗸𝗶𝗱𝘀

09:20 PM – 01 Oct 2020


Twitter: @kids_kubed

25.

The bleach convo:

*Opens bottle of bleach*
Nephew : How did you open it? I tried but it didn’t open.
Me : Oh it’s coz it has a child safety lock. Children can’t open it.
*nephew looks at bottle in amazement*
Nephew : How did it know I was a child?

🤣🤣🤣

03:30 PM – 27 Nov 2018


Twitter: @azedi

26.

The toast convo:

Toddler: Daddy I want toast.

Me: ok, buddy. Here’s some toast.

Toddler: I don’t like butter on my toast

Me: (flips toast over to the dry side and hands it back) There ya go.

Toddler: Thanks Daddy!

Toddlers are dumb. Take advantage of it while you can.

#Dadlife

04:57 PM – 23 Jan 2019


Twitter: @twinzerdad

30.

The smell convo:

9-year old: Dad smell this. You licked a puss.

Me: [mutes TV] what

9-year old: it’s so good. Smell it. You licked a puss.

Me: …

9-year old: [hands me a candle jar]

Me. It’s *eucalyptus*

03:56 PM – 17 Dec 2017


Twitter: @ramzy

32.

The souvenir convo:

@Karnythia I woke up to 3 yo kid #4 petting my head. I asked what she needed and she said ‘i wish i had a piece of you that i could carry with me all the time. like your finger.’ Haven’t slept soundly since.

12:08 AM – 28 Jan 2018


Twitter: @mmbtox

37.

The inside convo:

4: Mom, how long was dad inside you?

Me:

4: Mom???

Me: What the f-

4: Well??? How long was he inside you before you had him?

Me: Oh honey no I didn’t birth your dad, grandma did!

09:56 PM – 05 Sep 2020


Twitter: @mom_tho

38.

The crying convo:

(4yo daughter is crying her eyes out)

Me: “What’s wrong, tutu?”

4yo (moving her hands on the sofa): “If my fingers were markers they would ruin the sofa!”

Me: “But your fingers…are not…markers?”

4yo (peak distress): “I said IF!”

01:00 PM – 31 Jul 2020


Twitter: @tomerullman

39.

The table convo:

Kids are the best, man. They get all shocked when you figure out they did something wrong like, “mom how’d you know I colored on the table?” Um, because you wrote your fucking name on it?

10:00 PM – 17 Jan 2019


Twitter: @Fiveoclockmommy

43.

The glasses convo:

We cant find my 6 year olds glasses. Today we asked him where they are. He said and I quote “I threw them in the garbage yesterday, the lenses were dirty”.

$400 – see yeah!

02:15 AM – 02 Jan 2020


Twitter: @jessemodz

47.

The quesadilla convo:

49.

The air convo:

My son keeps grabbing fists of air and screaming ‘mine’. My daughter is crying saying Tj is stealing my air….they are in my bedroom, on a Saturday morning….😪😪😪

07:32 AM – 07 Jul 2018


Twitter: @knowbuntu

50.

And the confetti convo: