“48% of marriages end in Ikea.”
We rounded up some of the funniest recent marriage tweets we could find, and they made us laugh like no other:
5.
Husband: you’re late
Me: would you believe me if I said it’s because I made a healthy breakfast and then went for a jog
Husband: No
Me: Fine, my pop-tart got stuck in the toaster
Twitter: @reallifemommy3
7.
My wife just keeps adding throw pillows to our bed that have to go on in a particular order and I feel like I’m playing some kind of high stakes Tetris where if I’m wrong I lose the house
Twitter: @PoodleSnarf
14.
I borrowed my husband’s truck. While I was out I saw his exact vehicle with a big dent in the side. I took a photo of it, texted it to him and simply wrote, “Oops”.
Twitter: @3sunzzz
17.
Marriage counselor: ok, let’s reflect on the last week’s session
Dracula: *snickering* I can’t reflect on anything
Dracula’s wife: are you even going to try and take this seriously?
Twitter: @English_Channel
22.
hubby wanted to know what i did while he exercises so instead of confessing i scroll my phone and eat snacks i said i was writing a novel so now i eat snacks and scroll my phone with my laptop open next to me
Twitter: @mom_tho
If you think these married people are as hilarious as I do, be sure to follow them on Twitter!
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