These 14 “Harmless” Things Will Send You Straight To The Hospital

Is the Poison Control Center on speed dial? Maybe it should be. (800) 222-1222.

1.

Eye Drops


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Clear your eyes or stop your heart? Up to you! They just don’t put it that way on the bottle. According to Forbes, people HAVE died from drinking eye drops. Simple answer: Common eye drops contain tetrahydrozoline, which constricts blood vessels and lowers blood pressure. That’s all good when you want to fix your stoned afterparty look, but all bad if you get the half-baked idea to swallow your eye drops…or put them in someone else’s drink. Yeah, seek help. ALL kinds of help. 

2.

Acetaminophen


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There is a recommended dose for a reason. PSA from Healthline: Acetaminophen (aka paracetamol) causes liver damage in large amounts. And the effect of this drug on your liver is cumulative, meaning it builds up over time. You can keep popping your Tylenol all day erry’day and not realize your liver is putting in its two weeks until it’s too late. The symptoms of liver failure can take days to recognize, and the damage is not easily reversible (if you survive). 

3.

Those Pretty Oleander Flowers


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Do you have this plant in your backyard? Congrats! You have a lovely taste in floral decor! You also have one of the deadliest flowers in the world at your disposal. According to government studies, one leaf from the nerium oleander plant can kill a grown-ass adult (they gotta eat it, though). Reserve this bouquet for people you really really really could do without.  

4.

Wet Rice Noodles (if you’re really unlucky)


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No, you don’t need to boycott your favorite Thai place, BUT know that plate of Pad Thai can threaten more than your daily calorie limit. The National Capital Poison Center warns that fermented noodles — especially if they’re old AF — can be rank with bongkrekic acid, a toxin produced by the bacterium Burkholderia gladioli. Any poor soul that consumes food laced with bongkrekic acid will get a bad stomach ache, face liver failure, flirt with a coma, or just die. And umm, there’s no antidote. Sorry. 

5.

Windshield Washer Fluid


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Y’all are PROBABLY not trying to drink this, but we thought you should know anyway — because this bright blue liquid really does look just like Gatorade (be careful if you have lil’ ones)! According to the Poison Control Center, windshield washer fluid contains 30%–50% methanol on average. Is that a lot? Yes. Even a small sip of this concentration can poison a person, and without treatment they can become permanently blind or die.

6.

Botox


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Beyoncé taught us that pretty hurts. She never told us that pretty can kill. For those who don’t know, Botox involves injecting literal neurotoxic proteins into your face. WebMD tells us these toxins paralyze your muscles, which stops your face from wrinkling like last week’s laundry. But in rare cases, these toxins can travel to other muscles that control breathing and swallowing. What happens when your lungs and/or esophagus become paralyzed? Lots of unpleasant things, and you could very well die without treatment. 

7.

Cough Syrup


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Any cough syrups that contain the active ingredient dextromethorphan can be dangerous. Some people actually take this drug in large amounts (intentionally) because it, umm, makes them zone out. But trippers beware — an overdose can cause seizures, hallucinations, slow breathing, and it CAN kill you. That’s what daddy Poison Control says. Best keep this bottle away from thirsty toddlers and bored teens.

8.

Castor Oil


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What’s this again? Castor oil is vegetable oil often used in soaps, laxatives, paints, and perfumes. It’s made of castor beans, which are NO GOOD for eating raw. Ever. Even five lil’ castor beans can kill an adult, thanks to the poisonous ricin they contain. Ricin is super-duper deadly, according to the CDC. So if castor oil is not properly distilled, it can quickly knock you out, too. 

9.

Potatoes (left unattended for WEEKS)


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If your potatoes have fingers growing out of them, you should probably clean out your pantry, go grocery shopping, and delete GrubHub. Any of the above are fine. Whatever you do, DO NOT eat the gnarly potatoes! These vegetables are officially hella old, and they now contain high amounts of glycoalkaloids. What are those? Poisonous. That’s all you need to know. And no, cooking the potatoes won’t help. Maybe you can plant them outside or make a craft project. Just don’t eat them, FFS. 

10.

Genital Desensitizers


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We know — you just wanna last all night. You don’t wanna die. Genital desensitizers are sprays, creams, or wipes that you use on your external genitalia to numb sexual sensation. This is all fine and good IF you use the product as intended (read: a SMALL amount). If you use too much, the lidocaine or benzocaine in the product can reach your bloodstream and cause acute toxicity (methemoglobinemia, if you’re wondering). IDK about you, but this isn’t a very cool way to go out. 

11.

Wolf’s Bane (Monkshood)


Feifei Cui-paoluzzo / Getty Images

Don’t even TOUCH it! The poison can seep through your skin and cause problems. Deadly kind of problems. These pretty purple flowers (actually the whole Aconitum genus) contain toxic alkaloids that can stop your breathing and heartbeat fast. Cue clammy skin, nausea, a tingling tongue, and eventual cardiac arrest. Anthropologists discovered that natives of the North Pacific used to rub this plant on their spears to hunt wolves and other big scary things. Don’t let that be you. 

12.

Fluoride Toothpaste

ringing up the “Poison Control Center” on a tuesday Night to find out why, the Hell, they are infringing my God Given Right to eat my Own Damn Toothpaste

05:15 AM – 09 Dec 2020


Twitter: @BobbSagit

Squeeze out a pea-sized amount. OK, good, NOW STOP. Put that dangerous tube down and live to see another day. Don’t be that person up in the ER for eating toothpaste. Fluoride is poisonous in large amounts, mkay? Go eat mint ice cream instead; it’s got the same vibe.

13.

Laundry Detergent Pods


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The 2018 meme could be this year’s tragedy. Sensible adults know not to eat laundry detergent pods, but do you? To date, there have been at least eight recorded deaths from people chowing down on detergent pods according to this  this consumer report. I pray there won’t be anymore.

14.

Tea Tree Oil


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Have you been sucked into the tea tree cult of natural wellness? Honestly, good for you. This impressive elixir (distilled juice from the Melaleuca alternifolia plant) can be used ON YOUR SKIN to treat everything from dandruff to inflammation to pimples. Some wacky (misinformed) healers will tell you it is OK to swallow tea tree oil for its antiviral/antimicrobial properties. Umm, please don’t. The oil becomes toxic when taken internally, leading to vomiting, hallucinations, and coma. Some say you can die, but no deaths have been recorded yet.

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